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My sister's relentless need for me to see a psychiatrist has been bothering me recently. She has been trying to get me to see this lady for weeks now and i never really know how to react until suddenly today she told me that the lady will be looking for me through my mentor in school.  How does someone react to this? Isn't it all too soon?

I've never met a counselor or anyone "certified" i've talked to whom i never hated. I do talk to my family and friends, isn't that enough? Of course i never tell them the whole story. I'm always too ashamed to reveal myself to people. I tell different people different little sides of me hoping that they could piece it together to see what i really am. I never feel comfortable telling two people the same thing. In my little fucked up mind people only deserve what i'm willing to give them. Take it or leave it. Nobody deserves all of me. Only i deserve what i see in front of the mirror, and even that isn't enough for me. How can i ever satisfy anyone else when i don't even please myself. I feel like i split myself into small pieces. Enough to pass around, enough for people to say "hmm, that's the ems i know". No. You don't know. Nobody knows. Fuck off.

I guess that's just me. I'm just the little somebody that everybody needs in their life that makes them grateful for their.

I'm a homeless wreck and i need to fix my shit.