I cannot change what has happened and i cannot regret what i have done. I don't regret it. I'll never regret it. It was for the best. Honestly, i have learnt a lot. My heavy eyelids that were struggling to stay open has finally decided to close and take a rest. I've been blind this whole time. About friends, about family, about everything. I just needed a break. And i know my break seems to be heavily based on ignorance right now, but it will get better. I just want to be able to know that i can survive on my own. That i am independent. That i don't need anyone to be happy. I'm proud of myself because today i showed no signs of weakness, okay maybe breaking down while walking home from school seems a little weak, but other than that i've been wonderful. I haven't told anybody about anything, i can't seem to trust anyone without feeling like they will leave me alone and empty like others have before. I'm trying to mend all my broken ties with everyone i have been rude towards or had certain squabbles with. I'm trying to be a better person so i would feel more like a human being and less like a monster which some people has so wonderfully described me as. Ugh. I get it i am not perfect and neither am i near perfect, but you do not have any rights to accuse me of anything *rolls eyes
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