with eyes closed, it's you i'm thinking of

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
Tomorrow I'll miss you
Remember I'll always be true

I need this more than i think. Please be patient with me. I love you more than you know.

dull

“I can understand other people’s situations in their own terms, but I still can’t understand mine. I’m in love with everyone I’ve ever met in one way or another. I’m just a crazy, unhinged, disaster of a human being.”

- Edie Sedgwick

So life has been pretty dull. I feel an anger growing inside of me and it won't seem to go away. I don't know how long i would be able to keep this anger in me, i feel like an active volcano. Ready to explode, ready to erupt. That's it. I need a vacation. I need to go on holiday. Let's go together?

Dumbass

Why am I so unhappy all the time? It's like I don't give myself a chance to be happy. I lock myself at home and refuse to go out and socialise. I don't like being around people. They piss me off. Sorry. I mean, the things they do and say pisses me off. I don't know why that is, though. I shouldn't be so bothered by other people, but I am. I try not to, but I can't.

Today I left my house for the first time after days of being home alone. I don't like it. I go out to meet one of my close friends, H, and I notice that so much has changed with her. And she noticed a change in me too. Not a very good change. An arrogant nonchalance. Okay I wouldn't say arrogant. I don't know.

I feel very different too. A very Red Forman sort of way. I feel that everyone that I come across deserves a swift kick in the ass.

right now

I am so sick of people. I can't stand conversing with them, being around them. I just feel disgusted with humanity at the moment. Early this morning i got my school admission results, and i found out i got accepted into Republic Polytechnic, to do the course I've always wanted to do. Even then i didn't feel like sharing my happiness with anyone. I looked through my contact list through my phone and there was not one person i wanted to call. Not my mum, or even my best friend. I don't know what i am feeling. And I'm pretty sure it is a temporary thing. I just don't feel like talking to anyone. I feel like being alone for awhile. Sigh. So I'm sorry if i don't reply your calls or text messages. And i especially hate men right now. So if you have male genitalia, stay away from me. 

They.

They listen but they don't care for the content of the conversation. They want to know but they don't care for the situation at hand. They want to help but they don't. They want to advise us but instead they state the obvious. They want the best for us but they lie. They want to make us happy but the ignore us. They need to stop pretending. No they didn't help us. They made us feel worst.

empty

Public transport

Can't fucking think straight! The asshole next to me keeps leaning against me like as though I am his pillow, get the fuck off me! Ugh I am so pissed off! I hate trains so much!!! They smell bad. The majority of the people in them are usually inconsiderate assholes, and people never respect my "personal space"! My back hurts from this curled position now! Gosh how I hate trains

A not so poetic poem

Can't stop the hate that's running through my veins. Can't fight the power that forbade me of my freedom. Doomed forever in a melancholic hole of anger and frustrations. Not a single ray of light to show me back to where I belong. A happiness that is now relished by someone more worthy. To have something and not realise it's importance until it's absence is felt may be the cruelest of life's lessons.

Solitude

I've been feeling rather down lately. Sigh. It hurts to feel lonely, everyone would agree. Today i felt the immense pressure of solitude. Even more than most days.  

bleagh hair

I dyed my hair red on the 15th and fuck did it turn out badly!

Liars suck

I really hate it when someone lies to me.

What song are you listening to Singapore?

Is it just me or was the guy at #3:30 really something? All man and emanating a kind of sexy confidence.... Err, i mean.. He has a great smile. Yup! Just a great smile. Nothing else. Haha but all jokes aside, i have watched quite a number of "What song are you listening to (insert name of country here)" and i think that most Singaporeans don't really know what they're listening to. It's almost as if they were forced to listen to a kind of music that every one else likes.. Hm. Just a thought, not trying to offend my fellow people. So try not to be too mad at me yeah?

Please don't ruin my hair

I'll be getting a haircut tomorrow and i'm feeling rather nervous and also quite excited at the same time! My hair has not been touched for almost a year already and i'm kind of afraid that something will go terribly wrong and that i'll be left with short hair (EW, never again please! NEVER AGAIN!). Hm i know i'm being a little dramatic, but i really love my hair so very much! I love it even more than most people i know! Lol i'm just kidding ^^

Love love. Wish me the best!

X 

London riots

I just think that life should be simpler, don't you? No more of these riots, please. The Earth will crumble with all the hate growing around us. We should never hate. Hate has always been too strong a word. Though i am in a terrible imposition to say such a thing as i am rather guilty for having such venom in my blood as hate. Controlling my emotions, creating an inability to carry on suitably well in my daily mundane routines. However, enough is enough. I will stop this immediately. No more unhappiness. No more bipolar-like attitude. I will that cheerful girl i once was... Soon.

I returned the books i borrowed from the library earlier today. John Keats' poems were rather pleasant but i must say John Clare has made quite an impression on me. His poems were deep and well written. I enjoyed reading most of his poems. However there were only so few i was allowed to read in the book of collective poems. I tried searching for his works in the library but to no avail. There was none. Woodlands Regional Library, you have disappointed me! I shall search elsewhere, but until then the internet is useful enough. 

x